


Why?

by Teyamarra



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Garvez, Inspired by a Shawn Mendes Song, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Song: Why (Shawn Mendes), this gave me garvez feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teyamarra/pseuds/Teyamarra
Summary: And he wants nothing more to step off the stage, push Penelope against the nearest wall, and tell her that she’s all he wants, but he knows that she’d run and he knows that he wouldn’t be able to handle that, so he continues on with his song, with hope. Hope that she’ll take these lyrics to heart.
Relationships: Luke Alvez/Penelope Garcia
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Why?

**Author's Note:**

> My muse has been waning a little bit. I've written a lot of Garvez stories, but they all seem a little to forced. Maybe I'll most them later, but for now enjoy this little song fic! Let me know what you think, and please leave a kudos <3

Luke’s not even sure how he got there, on a stage, in a crowded bar doing karaoke. Somewhere in between his first shot, and the last glass of scotch he’d downed, the team had convinced him to take a turn on the karaoke machine. In the morning he’d most likely blame it on being drunk.

Even though drunk him knew that sober him would regret it but drunk him didn’t really give a damn. Drunk him was sick of pining as if his heart wasn’t being torn in two. So, drunk him had chosen a song that had been playing in his heart for a while, a song that completely portrayed everything that he felt.

When the music started the bar went silent except for a few encouraging cheers from his team, which he avoids making eye contact with. Even drunk him got nervous and staring at the people who knew him best while he poured his heart out, was nerve-wracking. He started out somberly, his voice was a little deeper than original singers’, but it meshed well with the instrumental.

**_“I know a girl, she's like a curse_ **

**_We want each other, no one will break first.  
So many nights, trying to find someone new  
They don't mean nothing compared to her, and I know.”_ **

His mind quickly flashed to Lisa as he sung, and he’s overcome with guilt. He used her. Even though that was never his intention, he had used her to pass the time, knowing he’d never truly love he.

**_“When people ask about us, now, we just brush it off  
I don't know why we act like it means nothing at all  
I wish that I could tell you that you're all that I want, yeah.”_ **

And he wants nothing more to step off the stage, push Penelope against the nearest wall, and tell her that she’s all he wants, but he knows that she’d run and he knows that he wouldn’t be able to handle that, so he continues on with his song, with hope. Hope that she’ll take these lyrics to heart.

**_“I pretend that I'm not ready  
Why do we put each other through hell?  
Why can't we just get over ourselves?  
And you say hi like you just met me  
Why do we put each other through hell?  
Why can't we just get over ourselves?  
Why can't we just get over ourselves?”_ **

Somewhere through the last verse he’d locked eyes with her, and his voice hitches momentarily, because he sees the look of recognition in her eyes. It takes everything in him to keep his lungs working, to continuing breathing because he’s never seen her acknowledge whatever this thing between them. 

**_“When I hear you sing, it gets hard to breathe  
Can't help but think every song's about me  
And every line, every word that I write  
You are the muse in the back of my mind, oh._ **

**_Don't want to ask about it 'cause you might brush it off  
I'm afraid you think that it means nothing at all  
I don't know why I won't admit that you're all I want.”_ **

And he has to look away when he sees the first tear drop, because he’s never been able to stand her crying. He has always felt the need to comfort her, but he needs to finish. He needs her to know that he means every lyric with every fiber of his being.

**_“I pretend that I'm not ready  
Why do we put each other through hell?  
Why can't we just get over ourselves?  
And you say hi like you just met me  
Why do we put each other through hell?  
Why can't we just get over ourselves?”_ **

As the song comes closer to an end his chest is lighter, there’s a warmth spreading throughout him. He’s never felt it before, but he’s never loved anyone like he loves Penelope.

**_“I know a girl, she's like a curse_  
We want each other, no one will break first  
So many nights, trying to find someone new  
They don't mean nothing compared to you.”**

When the music fades out Luke is momentarily paralyzed. The last four minutes of his life felt like eternity, and he’s not sure what to do with himself. What do you do after you confess to the love of your life that you love them?

And then the clapping starts, and suddenly his named it being shouted out by his friends and co-workers. He quickly saves face, giving the crowd one of his cockiest grins before stepping off the stage and walking back to his friends.

Emily playfully slaps his arm, “I didn’t know you could sing! That was definitely better than Rossi’s rendition of I Will Survive.”

Luke does his best attempt at laughter, but it falls flat, and the team notices. They also notice that he’s staring at her and she’s doing everything in her power not to engage, because she’s raw. She’s so damn raw, but then again, so is he.

“I’m catholic! I was a choir boy as soon as I could talk.” Luke jokes, gaining laughs from everyone except the one he wants to hear laugh.

And while she doesn’t laugh, she can’t help but catch his eyes, and she feel as if they’re peering into her soul, learning all of her secrets. She wants to say something, she opens her mouth to say something, anything, but can’t because that’d make it real. She’s scared. She’s so scared that she’ll mess this, whatever this was, up.

So, she does what she always does when she’s scared. She runs, metaphorically speaking because she can’t run in these heels. She doesn’t offer the team any excuses, she just retreats until she’s in front of the bar, and she doesn’t see Emily attempt to run after her, only to be held back by Rossi. She also doesn’t see Luke stalk towards her until he’s right behind her.

“Penelope.” His voice sounds as strained as her heart feels, and despite her fear she turns towards him.

“Luke.” Her voice is raspy because at some point her soft weeping had turned into a full-on sob.

“You called me Luke again.” Penelope can’t help but to crack a smile at that, because of all things, he’s choosing to focus on her using his first name. Her smile falters when he takes a step closer to her, and his hand begins stroking her cheek, tipping her face towards his.

She can’t help the shudder that flows through her as his lips meet hers, and suddenly she’s warm. It’s below freezing but she can’t help but to feel like a furnace has set her entire body on fire, and part of her never wants his lips off of hers, but she needs to breathe, so she pulls back, ghosting her fingers over her lips. Neither of them knows what to say in that moment, but that’s okay because they have all the time in the world to find the right words.


End file.
